Rekindling First Love.

I can't clearly remember what ambition came first when I was a kid. As far as I can remember, there were numerous of them: being a pilot, being a teacher, a scientist, an inventor, animator, TV host, architect, among others. But there's an ambition then that my parents still believe i could become. And seeing the signs back then: the busted tapes, the dysfunctional karaoke, and the stories my family and relatives tell about my childhood, I have the strongest certainty that music, among others, is my first love.

My parents' stories could prove one thing: being a singer was my first (frustrating) childhood ambition. But college took that love away. I became a fan of writing and hosting. But the past weeks draw me back to my usual childhood vice. Yes, I was kind of oblivious that i have been drowning on a vice too expensive.

Okay. Okay. I was oblivious for days and now i realized, I have really been so crazy with singing, particularly the videoke. I realized by the end of the week that I have consumed half of my allowance for videoke singing. Too bad. "Whatever happens," I say, "singing never ends."

I have never been a bad singer, i suppose... but I believe I am not very excellent (knowing that the now-known Chivas and Bunny won against me and my partner back in a duet competition in high school). Despite these, there's still something in singing and the videoke, particularly, that drags me into this different feeling when I take the microphone and sing the lines. It's also something that my close friend Alton Jave, a videoke-hater should i tag, has not understood well. (BANG! hahaha.)

Probably because its part of my family's life since then - my Papa used to be a singer in his teenage. My Mama, well, loves music but music hates her. And to prove that, my mom bought a videoke player with a song book last summer, and when asked why she bought that, she tells us, "magtoon man ko'g kanta beh!" BANG! My closest sister Christine, like me, was a choral soprano member of Tanjay's El Shaddai Senior choral and has never refused a videoke microphone passed to her. My Manong Victor does sing. As a matter of fact, he spent his month's salary for a bulky videoke machine and makes money (imagine the many 5-peso coins) out of it.

We just love singing. My friends barely know this but in our house almost everyday, the videoke player with 10,000 songs are on the ready, the song book is open 24/7, and the microphone is set in its place. My father usually welcomes visitors to sing in the house, while mom prepares some drinks for them, and they socialize, talk, and talk.

From that time on, I realize there are more reasons to come home every weekends. But i don't come home just to sing. But there's something in videoke that makes me feel glad. There's more to just experiencing the nice feeling of having reached the highest tone of my favorite jaw-breaking videoke songs.

I feel glad that right now, after mom having bought a videoke, weekends are never the same. Rather than just sleeping, eating, and talking, there's a different kind of chain that bonds us together as a family. There's a moment that we smile together, while our spirits delight the presence of each other. There's a bond that flushes away our worries of tomorrow's school, work, and people.

Most importantly, i feel glad I'm back to the love that in a moment in my life, i have forgotten... and I'm back that its back for good and we'll share life together.