You won't believe where I am at this point of time.
It's new year,12:30 (Philippine Time) exactly, the first day of the year. Just awhile ago, I was alone, outside of this building where I am looking at fireworks display left and right. I don't basically know where to go. My phone is off, and battery is empty (I'm afraid this means bad luck for 2011).
Been texting special people before the battery finally died down, but no one replied except one - my mother greeting me a happy new year. Just there, I remember my homeplace, in Tanjay, where at this moment, I know, they are greeting each other a happy new year and feasting with good food served on our table.
I should be there, I told myself. I should be sitting down our car at home, blowing the horn and making noise just like what I usually do; I should hear the sound of the chapel bell, just a walk away from our house, and see my father preparing grains of rice, fresh water, and coins placed outside our house (a traditional, old way of starting the new year).
But life has changed this year. I may not be able to do the same usual things I do 365 days ago. I should only celebrate Christmas and New year in my workplace. Now, I am treading on a different path. God has givne me enormous successes and learning - even if I never asked for it.
Just last year...
...I was in celebration of love and life. I was head-over-heels. Yet being too much into it, I became dumb. Just later after that, I was in pain of knowing a very special person in my heart cheated on me; and there were too many rocks and stones I have surpassed, rocky hills and slippery curves I have maneuvered with. I have released all my pain through tears, as I remember, and forgiveness was what I have only given. I decided to live happily.
...I was going to school and studying my lessons with the hope of getting good grades. I was still walking in the pathways of the university with my books and photocopies at hand.
...I was saddened with the fact that I could not graduate. I planned to work and attempt to juggle work and school at the same time. Just months after that, I applied to the call center and got accepted. Took calls for a couple of weeks and POOF! became a technical trainer after an interview and assessment... quite a long jump.
...I finally embraced the world of employment, and took a 360-degree turn from being an active and exposed student reporter/journalist (slash) host, into a call center trainer. I have learned this year through the position the value of responsibility and comprehending even more to meet what is expected of you.
...I was proving myself I can do it, and I was given another position. It was a step higher than the previous one and it was given to me only after very few months of working. I became obliged to be the subject-matter expert - a specialty skills trainer.
...I have proven that I can sing (well, well) and made it to the finals of the center's singing competition - our local, duplicate version of the applauded American Idol. I weathered elimination rounds and I finally grabbed the chance to sing in front of a sea of people, and ended up 4th place.
... got hatched and hastened forcibly to meet my objectives, and realized that there are people who are not easy to satisfy. Instead, they pull you down, they discriminate you - and sadly, they are just around the corners of my workplace.
...I learned that there are to many things to learn and ponder on. There is a limitless possibility for me, and all I can do is to grab it!
...Love is unexpected. Unexpected turns can happen in a blink of an eye, and I should be on guard.
...I have now learned that I am capable of loving, and I give it very selflessly.
but I learned that there's someone I should love more than anything else to give balance and fairness to my life. He is the person who could love me better, aside from Jesus, who understands more than how anyone could.
This year 2011, I should learn to better love MY SELF.
