One Down!

There are many things I would have to tell you. But you were hostile to me. I hope that someday, you will realize that every sermon has a purpose and not a "pambikil." No, I never would have wanted to give up. But i was almost there. But you reacted the other way. And that was it.

Thanks. May you find a man with endless patience, with a deaf heart, and an insensitive ear not to hear or feel how painful you say words to a boyfriend - a man too dumb never to leave you after being said with bad words, and an unintelligible guy who doesn't care about the messages he sees in you inbox. And by that time, you will have the partner that you needed.

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Kablaaaag! One Down.

My search for true love only proved one thing: I have always been a failure. And every time i think of this, and how our argues and all those hostilities went, i often dissect my innermost self again and ask what's wrong with me. And there i knew it wasn't me. I handled it well. But then, i was only wrong in choosing the wrong one.

Yes. Another one relationship down... and it was undeniably the most stressful. 2 months and 4 days. I gave up. Cee also gave up. We can't meet at a common end, and our attitudes can't both jive together. We were different, and as we settle differences, another one comes along.

For so many times, i have enforced rules for us to agree and follow to. Yet, there's always a deviant attitude getting out, and I kept on restructuring and restructuring, reassessing and reassessing until it has become redundant. Tiresome. Lonesome like a cup running out of coffee, a river running out of water.

It was hard. With the restructuring and reassessing process, i have found out that I was in deep anguish and pain for Cee to have imposed her own rules and denied what we have agreed together. Small things have become complicated. Long sermons have taken place. Then, I literally lost my voice, and had recurring fever in about 5 days. And THAT was the sign to give up.

Right now, I don't know if i celebrate or grieve. All I know is that i feel light. It's the lightness inside that I have not felt for weeks of argue, pain, and hurting.

After the long struggle, i brought my "self" back, and befriended him again. "You're still young, and the one is yet to come," i said with a smile.

Pinoy into the K-Pop Mania

While reading the first few pages of "Angela's Ashes" last Saturday evening, a documentary show on television took me aback. But it was not really the television show who took me aback actually, but that very familiar beat of a so-widely-popular Korean song "Nobody," by the Korean Wondergirls did. Yes Actually. That very danceable music of "Nobody" did.

And why not? And WHO would hate dancing to such a danceable beat?

It was as if ever since I heard that song and seen its video, my eyes have seen my neighbors, classmates, even office mates metamorphosing to becoming "Nobody" avid fans. And I have actually been a listener of the song too.

But I am not fan. In fact, I just can't be a fan. Seeing that documentary strongly reinforced my belief that becoming a fan of Korean pop (K-pop) could not do me well. More often than not, it gives some lurking adverse effects to us Filipinos and this, unfortunately, may have remained oblivious to many who are now slowly metamorphosing themselves into Korean music followers.

But I came to ask through the documentary i saw: Could there be more non-sense than lovingly singing a song you do not understand? When the lines "I want nobody, nobody but you," is the only line we understand?

What makes the whole thing absurd and saddening is when we see our own fellows turning into avid fans of these Koreans, to the extent of others wasting their pesos for trips to Korea (as seen on TV) only to see the Korean artists they've been madly, deeply in loved and crazy about. Ridiculous.

The more it becomes detrimental absurdity is when such dominance of Korean music drags our own Filipino pop culture away from the limelight. It loosens that once-tight pride we have to our Filipino music and to our Filipino Musicians, who, as we know, are one of the bests in the world.

Because I know there is something to proud of in our Filipino artistry and Music, and that shouldn't be disregarded amid the invasion of other culture's music to our archipelago. Filipino artists are one of the bests in the world, and we can push that further through our initiative of patronizing and avidly supporting our Filipino music, the first step.

Cause they Don't understand!

Many of my friends and family members have not known clearly, for all these years, the enormous sacrifice being a member of a weekly student publication. If I have to slap words on their faces and tell them how hard it is to catch up 3 deadlines for your class, and meeting at the same time deadlines of 3 articles for the paper, all in a day, they might realize that a student-journalist like me is dealing on a really serious shit all day.

It is because some of them have not experienced such a stressful yet rich life in college being a student-journalist of, to note, one of three weekly student papers in the Philippines.

And I grieve with them… yet I can’t blame them.

But such rants from people either regarding topics we write in the publication, or regarding the nights I come home late or why I slept in the office that may have remained dubious to them, or the busyness I’m into that I could no longer spend time chillaxing with my peers (mostly on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and all these are irritating me badly. I came to ask, why couldn’t these people understand our work – why couldn’t these people open their eyes and see what I see?

Before I tell you how I realized things, I acknowledge the fact that I’ve been delinquent in the publication that I, in fact, instead of getting a higher rank, was dethroned from an editorial position to a not-so-editorial position when classes opened this school year (that is, assistant features editor). But no biggie! I know writing for the student and informing them of your views doesn’t demand you to be in an editorial position. And simply, I do not need an editorial position since then.

Yes, I might be delinquent in the publication since my first year, but I know that as years have gone by, obliviously, the publication shaped me into the person I never was before -something that I want these people to know. My nationality was kindled through the paper, notwithstanding the many enhancements it has done to my personality, speaking and writing communication, human relations, school spirit, and your awareness toward local and national issues, even computer literacy (I knew how to get pimples and scars off your photo in Adobe, anyway - but i very seldom do it. =))

Above all and all, my burning love to be part of the team rooted from how it has enhanced my knowledge on things I have never learn in the four walls of my many classrooms – something that pays great dividends, for me.

Now how would I explain to a family member the reason why I come home late at night, when my mere redundant is that i stayed in the office? How could I ever explain to my ranting friend who wants me to go drinking with them when I was attending the meeting? And how could I reason out why we have to write about the putrid smell of our school canals to an unintelligible teacher who doesn’t even know what press freedom is – and how we fight for it?

To The Woman of the People

To the woman whose life is, to us, a life given for the Lord and Nation
To the epitome of democracy
an Icon of Filipino Faith, and Nationalism
The Woman whose patriotic spirit continually gives us power...
To the once-in-a-lifetime Cory,
we give all our thanks and respect
...You are the pattern of modern-day heroism.

You are loved and will be missed.